JUST NEEDS A REVISION AND FIX THE MISTAKES THAT ARE HIGHLIGHTED.****Fix the 3 run-ons and a couple fragments to score higher***COMMENTS BELOW ARE ALSO WHAT NEEDS ALITTLE MORE ADDED TO.****Your conclusion is strong but should be backed up with much more detailed evidence****For more information on Couple Fragments read this:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solitary_Fragments
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