Revision of an Opinion paper Essays | Online Homework Help

Instructions are to revise a paper previously written for extra credit toward the grade. Could you use the graded rubric provided to revise the paper and make it sound better?

Below are the original instructions for the paper already written:
Consider either of the assigned stories by Ambrose Bierce and imagine it as a visual work of art. Then, compare the techniques Bierce employs in presenting details and painting a picture with words to the works of Impressionist artists, such as Monet, Pissarro, Sisley, Cassatt, or Hassam (choose a painting or two as foundation for your discussion). Focus your comparison on the use of detail and blurriness to achieve the desired effect on the audience.

I could not find a place to send an attachment of the original paper so I copied it below. I need the paper to be similar to this, but revised and improved.

Have you ever read a story so descriptive that you felt as if you were at that exact moment in time? The short story by Ambrose Bierce, “An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” is a story of great description and detail. The author, Ambrose Bierce, paints an elaborate picture that shows deep emotion and feelings along with the reality that comes with it.
“An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” takes place during the Civil War. The story begins with Peyton Farquhar standing at a railroad bridge with a noose tied around his neck and his hands tied behind his back. This is moments before his execution is about to happen. He describes how the soldiers step off of the loose planks holding him up. The soldiers stood there with a straight face as they salute and wait for the captain’s signal to step away, sending Farquhar to his ultimate death entirely. Moments before being dropped into the river, Farquhar describes everything he sees and the emotions that he felt. He tells how the stream looks as if it is moving very slowly. Then he looks over at his wife and children until hearing a loud clinging bell sound, which turns out to be his watch ticking. He imagines what he would do if he could free his hands and loosen the noose around his neck. The sergeant then steps off of the board, sending Farquhar plummeting into the river, losing consciousness on the way down. As he gets closer and closer to the bottom of the river, he sees a light flicker and realizes the noose broke. He begins seeing a bright light get closer and somehow ends up on shore. He unties his hands and takes the rope from around his neck. He looks around and sees soldiers shooting at him and dodges a shot from a rifle. Farquhar goes with the stream current dodging bullets and cannons. Once he gets outside of enemy lines, he gets out onto the shore. He is then pleasantly surprised to be at the gate of his house, seeing his wife coming toward him. He is ecstatic at the fact that he finally made it home safely. He then feels a stabbing pain in his neck as he falls to the ground. All of a sudden, everything is dark and silent. Farquhar was dead swinging side to side over the Owl Creek Bridge.
This story will send chills down your back reading it. The whole story goes into such vivid detail about only a few moments right before Farquhar’s death. Bierce shows a unique writing style by giving readers a dream vs. reality style. He begins the story describing the moments before Farquhar’s death, then goes back to a day in his past to explain who Peyton Farquhar is as a person, then back to the dream. Bierce depicts Farquhar’s emotions as well as the psychological trauma he went through in those few minutes in his life so well. The way this author portrays stories in a unique manner that keeps the reader interested reminds me of a well-painted portrait that shows a moment in time; you know those paintings that you can look at and picture what was happening exactly at that moment?
Impressionist artists began a new way of painting in the nineteenth century that changed the way people viewed the portrait. These paintings are done with short brush strokes accentuating light and showing the passage of time, making it more realistic. Impressionists changed the way painting took place. They began painting outside and using more of a blending technique blurring the lines of your typical sharp-edged portrait. These artists started bringing the subject forefront and used multiple colors to blend the background in. The short story “An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” reminds me of the impressionist painting style because of the unique subjects and blended lines. The portraits and the story make the mind wander and fantasize, rather than sticking to an objective sense of reality. This style makes readers and art lovers more interested because it gives them a way to get away from their existence just by looking at a portrait or diving deep into a good story.
Mary Cassatt was one of the impressionist artists that caught my eye. Woman impressionist artists tried to portray their painting styles incorporating women and their everyday items in the painting. Women were not as respected for their careers as men, and most were omitted from historical books. Mary Cassett liked to show women in a conservative setting such as cooking or cleaning, and when they were not in those settings, she would have the women in the pictures lost in thought. Mary Cassatt’s painting, Young girl at the window, 1885, was one that particularly that caught my eye. It shows a woman sitting beside a window on a porch deep in thought while her dog sits on her lap. This painting uses brighter colors to catch your attention but also depicts how she is confined to a man. There is a deeper meaning in all of her portraits than meets the eye.
These paintings get your mind to wondering and imagining a lot like the short stories by Ambrose Bierce. Both “An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” and Mary Cassatt’s paintings tell a compelling story and give a truth vs. reality perspective.